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TRP: Raef and Griffin (Truth)
October 15, 2018 Mink: at 6:46 PM Bedroom on the ship. Raef has pushed two beds together and secured them to the floor. Area is enclosed by a haphazardly hung cloth. Raef stroked his fingers through Griffin's hair, watching the half-orc sleep. He had had hours to think and now he was tired of that, but he was also tired of keeping all of his secrets bottled up. When had life grown so complicated and when had he begun to even care? He hesitated before he gripped Griffin's shoulder and gave him a gentle shake. He waited until the other's eyes fluttered open to say, "Griffin, I need to talk with you." Izzy: at 6:50 PM Griffin woke quickly, but groggily. He still wasn't used to this whole 'being on a ship' thing, but at least he hadn't gotten seasick. He was, however, immediately more alert when he realized Raef had woken him -- pushing himself halfway up and fumbling for his axe. "What's going on?" he mumbled. "What's wrong?" Mink: at 6:54 PM Raef couldn't help but smile as Griffin tried to grab his axe, the movement less than coordinated. "Nothing's going on," he answered, still smiling until it slipped away from his face. "I just want to talk...with you." His stomach fluttered nervously or maybe it twisted nervously. When had it become difficult to find words? He had laid the cheesiest pick up lines on Griffin and hadn't remotely felt like this. "About things that have happened." Izzy: at 6:58 PM "Oh. Good." He cleared his throat and rubbed at an eye. What a relief. Things had been goddamn crazy lately and he wasn't intending to let another fireball hit Raef on his watch. He sat the rest of the way up, crossing his legs under him. It was the middle of the night, though. Maybe Raef couldn't sleep. He suddenly felt guilty over the fact that he could. "Recent ... things?" Mink: at 7:02 PM "No..." Raef paused. "Sort of." It was a mixture of both; it was more that recent things had set the past back into motion. Goro, that damn fireball, the guild (his home) being destroyed...Maybe it was that the past had always been in motion, but he had been too stubborn or too drunk to pay attention. "I....I'm just tired." He took a deep breath and let it out quietly. "...I punched Goro today." Izzy: at 7:06 PM Griffin reached out to touch his arm. He wanted to address the I'm tired part, but the second part was both more interesting and more ... concerning? Raef's an assassin, sure, but not violent for no reason, and Griffin didn't have him pegged as someone who would attack a teammate. "Oh, shit. What did he do?" Mink: at 7:15 PM Raef slid a hand over Griffin's when his arm was touched and he gave a squeeze. "He was being a dick." He snorted softly and ran a hand through his hair, ruffling the long locks. He found himself wanting to beat around the bush, to engage in small conversation and entirely avoid this whole topic, but that was a rather stupid idea and he had already woken up Griffin. He removed his hand from Griffin's and pulled out the necklace. It was heavy in his hands and he turned it over, fingers feeling over the fangs and beads that adorned it, centered around a lump of melted metal that hung in center. "...I shouldn't have punched him, but he made fun of this." He showed the necklace to Griffin, watching him anxiously. "It was my husband's." Izzy: at 7:26 PM Griffin was briefly distracted by Raef's hair. It was so pretty. He was so pretty. Shit -- he made himself pay attention. This was obviously important. His immediate thought was that this was definitely an orcish necklace. What a strange thing for Raef to have -- to wear against his skin and punch Goro over. And what had happened to it? It looked like it had been through ... "Oh. I didn't know --." Well, he hadn't not known. Raef was an elf. Griffin had already considered how much older he was. He just hadn't really thought about that, specifically. "What happened to him?" Then, straight on the tail of that, "Oh, fuck, I'm sorry, I shouldn't ask that." Fire. Fire had happened to the necklace to turn whatever it had been before into a molten blob. Fire had happened to Raef's husband. Fire had happened to Raef, very recently. Without thinking twice, Griffin grabbed him in an abrupt, tight hug. "Fuck, I'm sorry." Mink: at 7:35 PM "No, it's --" Raef started to say before he was being pulled into a tight hug that made him freeze. Whatever reaction he had been expecting, it wasn't that. He wrapped his arms around Griffin's waist as best he could, nestling his head in against Griffin's chest. He could hear Griffin's soft heartbeat thrumming steadily along to mix with the gentle inhales and exhales. He had the same thought that he had so many times: Griffin was alive and that was good. The elf could have sat there like that far into the night, his throat feeling tight and raw, but he made himself draw away. He took one of Griffin's hands in his own, tracing his thumb along the half-orc's. "...I want to...I want to talk about it. Don't apologize." He lightly bit his lower lip. It wasn't hard to say; he had told Goro after all, but..."...I haven't--I haven't told anyone." He hadn't had anyone to tell until recently. "He was...he was murd--burned alive." Izzy: at 7:38 PM "Shit," Griffin blurted. "That -- that's fucking awful." Hearing him say it was fucking awful. That it had happened was fucking awful. He couldn't ... think of anything else to say. Then, quite suddenly, he could: "Who fucking did that to you?" Mink: at 7:42 PM "...yeah..." Fucking awful didn't cover it. There were no words for it and Raef had to look away from Griffin, rubbing the metal in soothing circles. ...fucking awful... He almost let out a choked laugh until warm anger flickered through him at the question. "Bloodgrut, and I'm going to kill him." Izzy: at 7:49 PM Griffin blinked. He started to repeat his father's name back to Raef to make sure he'd heard right, but it wasn't one that you'd tend to mistake for something else. He almost just blurted out that Bloodgrut was his father, but managed to stop himself (Robin had been helping with that, because Robin was good at saying the right thing, or at least what he thought the right thing was; at the very least, not just saying the first thing that came to mind). He had to say something, though. Should he ... should he act like he didn't know who that was? He didn't want to lie to Raef. But anything but the truth would be a lie -- well, yes, Griffin, that was fucking obvious. Raef was rubbing the melted pendant like it was a talisman. Maybe he could change the subject, ask what the charm had been before the fire. Or he could ask why, but that would be playing dumb too -- Raef was an elf, his husband's necklace was orcish -- at best he'd been a half-orc. Absently, Griffin thought, Huh. He has a type. Fuck, he'd been quiet for too long. "I'll help you," he murmured. "Whatever you need."(edited) Mink: at 7:55 PM The seconds ticked on as Raef waited for an answer, but what answer could Griffin actually give? Yeah, I'll help you kill this orc.? A look of disgust? Did Griffin even know what he had done on his way to the guild? Of course not...not even the guild knew. Ripley knew and Larkin had an inkling, but no one actually knew. He looked up in surprise at the murmur. "You'll what?" Izzy: at 7:59 PM "I'll help," he said, more firmly. He wished he had more ... poetic words, bigger and fancier and more dramatic words. Instead, he said, "That's ... fucked up." He swallowed. It made him sound dumb and childish, he thought. But Raef would understand. "When do we start?" Mink: at 8:07 PM Griffin continuously surprised him. Every day it was something knew, but this....Griffin was offering to help after being locked up and dragged onto a ship? After witnessing a fight with Diva and her...puppets...? Raef was torn between laughter and sorrow. Instead of either, he settled on a soft smile. "I already started." He sounded more composed than he felt. How could someone gracefully say they had already killed a bunch of orcs? Especially to a half-orc? "...I spent the last five years trying to find his damn hideout." Izzy: at 8:27 PM Oh, right -- of course Raef hadn't been just waiting for Griffin to show up and invite himself onto this vengeance quest. And his heart lurched a bit. Bloodgrut's hideout. Well -- it had been a while since he'd been home. Maybe his father had moved. Otherwise, Griffin could take Raef directly to the bed of the man who'd burned his husband to death. He ... he wanted to help, and he didn't have any particular love to lose for his dad, but that was -- a lot. Immediately. And he wanted to share the fact that his gut was twisting with Raef and get his advice on what to do, but he couldn't without spilling why it was hard in the first place. Shit. He didn't know what to say. He chewed on his lip and softly asked, "So it ... it happened five years ago?" He hated this. He didn't want to change the subject or make Raef talk about something uncomfortable with -- even if he said he wanted to talk about it, there had to be limits -- but he just ... He didn't know what to do. Mink: at 8:33 PM "Yeah..." Raef answered quietly, looking back up at Griffin fully. His grey eyes roamed the other's face and the tightness of discomfort. The conversation was uncomfortable, he knew it was. His heart alternated between thudding dangerously and whispering to a standstill while anger and sorrow waged war in his chest. At least he wasn't crying, not yet. No...this was just a talk...but Griffin was uncomfortable and that made a slither of guild worm through him. "Are you okay?" Izzy: at 8:39 PM "Of course," Griffin said quickly, and a bit too loud. "I mean -- I'm not --." He cleared his throat and lowered his voice back where it had been, looking down, still worrying his lip against a tusk. "I mean, I ... I don't really know what to say. I wanna -- I just wanna fix this for you. I --." Goddammit. "I need to --." Fuck. "I need to tell you ... something." He needed to tell Raef several somethings. He had no fucking idea where to start. Mink: at 8:42 PM This was a night of revelations, but the conversation proceeding this one made Raef frown with worry. He wrapped his free hand more securely around Griffin's. "What?" he prompted gently. He set Az's necklace down so he could brush back a strand of Griffin's hair. It was almost strange shifting from one emotion to another, but he was too hold to give it much thought....or that was what he told himself.(edited) Izzy: at 8:45 PM "My name isn't actually Griffin." That was a place to start. It was harmless. Without the rest of the story. "It's Imesh. But I don't -- I don't use it. I had, um -- I had this falling out with my family, so I changed it. I didn't ... want to be Imesh anymore," he mumbled. Mink: at 8:47 PM A different name? That seemed...that wasn't what he was expecting the mumbling and worrying to be over. "What happened?" Izzy: at 8:50 PM "My dad." He stopped. Well, that was kind of the gist of it. "Um. Fuck, Raef, Bloodgrut is my dad." Mink: at 8:54 PM Raef stared. He was shocked? Confused? He didn't fucking know. Did he even care? "Oh." He opened his mouth to speak before closing it. What could he say to that? "So...huh...anything else you have to say?" Izzy: at 8:57 PM "I'm ... I'm so sorry he did that." His voice was shaking. Shit, he was going to cry. He didn't get to cry here -- this was Raef's trauma. This was Raef's trauma that he was on the wrong side of. He swiped at his eyes with one hand. "And I'll help you kill him. Fuck him." Mink: at 9:04 PM Raef reached up to soothingly brush away in tears that would fall; it was another odd twist that night. "Thank you," he answered with the softest of smiles. "...and it's...." he stopped himself. It wasn't fine and he needed to stop saying that to people when they apologized to him over this. He sighed. "....this isn't what I had in mind when I woke you...." Izzy: at 9:11 PM "I know, I --." He stopped himself. He wanted to say he was sorry again, but Raef wasn't mad. He'd thanked him. He was ... god, he was so fucking sweet. "I don't understand. This isn't fucking weird as fuck to you?" Mink: at 9:14 PM "You don't get weirder than watching a beast destroy your city," Raef answered with a grin that slipped away almost as quickly as it had appeared. This was a horrible time for dark humor. He leaned back against the headboard, settling down a little more comfortably. "...it's very fucking weird..." and...it spawned so many questions, none of which he was certain he wanted an answer for. "When did you leave your clan?" Izzy: at 9:18 PM He shifted. "About. About five years ago." Mink: at 9:19 PM That was more than a coincidence and Raef had to fight to keep his face passive. "Why?" Izzy: at 9:38 PM "I was ... I was sixteen then. I had never gone out on raids with the others because --." Because he was too important. He couldn't say that. "Well, I -- I fucking hated it." That was also the truth. "It was all ... fucking awful. But I was sixteen. I was too old to've ... not killed anyone. Not killed any elves," he corrected in a mumble. "He said I was too soft. That I wasn't -- I was supposed to be different." He bit his lip and held it there for a moment. "He said I had to do something or he'd -- fucking -- get rid of me and try again. For a better son. I should've just fucking run away then." Fuck, he had just managed to stop crying, and now tears were rolling down his face and blurring his vision again, and he couldn't fucking bear for Raef to be nice to him about it before he'd said all of this, so he pushed away from him on the bed, as far as he could. Even with the two little cabin cots Raef had put together for them, it wasn't far. He wrapped his arms around himself. "There was this little house in the woods. He said it was -- an abomination. An orc living with an elf. I never ... saw them. I thought the house was empty, I thought -- I thought it would be terrible, but they'd get away, and I could say I'd done it, and it would be fine. I thought -- I --." He screwed his eyes shut. "He was proud of me. He said I'd done so well, because the orc died and the elf would have to -- have to live with that misery for so much fucking longer. He said I'd -- I'd planned it perfectly. It was a mistake. It was a mistake. I didn't mean to. I'm so --." It wasn't enough to say he was sorry. No matter how many fancy words he knew, there wouldn't be one. Not for this.(edited) Mink: at 9:54 PM Raef watched Griffin as the half-orc spoke, watching the tears stain his face. Watching the pain it caused Griffin for the tale to be retold. Yet he didn't reach out this time. This time he could only watch as a cold, leaden feeling crept its way through every inch of his body. Fate had a wicked sense of humor, sending him someone he could love only to have him be the person to have caused so much heartache, so much pain...so much death... His gaze dropped to his lap, the sight blurry from tears that welled up to fall to his lap. What had he done to ever deserve this in his life? He wiped at his eyes hastily, taking shuddering breaths to calm himself. It wasn't Griffin's fault. But it was...he would still have Az by his side if it hadn't been for that raiding party. He would still have their home, their little garden with overflowing vegetables....he would still have Az...He covered his face with his hands. This wasn't fair, and he didn't know what to do. He swallowed thickly, throat tight and hot. He struggled to find the words, find something to say. "....Griffin....I don't...." nothing came to follow the words and wiped at his eyes again. "....fuck, Griffin." Izzy: at 9:57 PM "I know," Griffin choked out. That was all he had, too. Fuck. "D-D'you want me to -- leave? I can leave. I can -- I can't swim back to shore from here but I -- maybe Sugar would give me a ride, I don't know. I'm sorry, I shouldn't -- I shouldn't be here. Fuck." Mink: at 10:01 PM Raef started at Griffin's suggestion, looking up at him in shock. Even with the tears still falling and the revelation hanging in the air, his stomach knotted at the idea of Griffin leaving....leaving him...to be alone once more in his pathetic life... He was quick to reach out to grab Griffin's hand as if the half-orc was getting ready to leave the bed at that moment. "....you...you can't leave..." Izzy: at 10:07 PM Raef moved towards him and Griffin flinched slightly, thinking he was about to get punched or something. He'd deserve it -- a punch at the very least. God, this was so fucking impossible. The world was too big for this to've happened. And it was impossible that Raef took his hand instead, and told him he couldn't leave with a look of such desperation that he could only stare back at him in teary-eyed confusion for a beat. Griffin wanted to kiss him until he could never have that look in his eyes again, but now probably wasn't the right time for that. "What?" Mink: at 10:11 PM "You-You can't l-leave...me." Raef's grip tightened further. Why couldn't Griffin leave him? The half-orc had been responsible for Az....he was the one that had set the flame that led to the screams....the screams that still haunted him. But he couldn't let Griffin go. "I can't--" He bit back a sob before his head hung, hair swinging forward to block his face. All the while he held a death grip onto the half-orc. "...I can't b-be...alone again..." Izzy: at 10:17 PM Oh, fuck. Griffin surged forward to gather Raef up in his arms and crush him to his chest. "Okay," he said hastily, his voice cracking. "I won't. I'll stay. I -- I -- I mean I don't want to leave, I just thought ..." He didn't have to say this out loud again, surely. He sniffled and mumbled into Raef's hair, "You don't have to be alone. I won't leave you." Mink: at 10:33 PM Raef didn't fight as he was drawn in close, melting into the embrace that was given him. He squeezed his eyes shut, gripping at the half-orc's shirt. This was a shitty fucking twist of fate...and yet...He sniffed, rubbing at his eyes awkwardly in the embrace he was given. It would take time to digest, to process...it would take time, but time was in abundance for him. "Good," he mumbled, as he shifted in Griffin's arms to be in a more comfortable position. Something hard bumped against his boot and he reached for the object without thinking, picking up the now-cold necklace. What a fucking night.... __ Raef watched the sunlight play across the wall of the cabin, curled up with his back against Griffin's stomach and chest. It had been a long night and sleep had never truly come for the elf. He wanted to sleep....gods, that was all he wanted. He didn't know what to do about Bloodgrut, about Griffin, about Az, about any of it. Was there even anything he could do? He supposed there were lots of things he probably could do, but he remembered the knot in his stomach and the bitter taste of fear when Griffin had spoken of leaving.... ...he was a goddamn grown elf who didn't need such reliance, who had told himself that he didn't need anyone for the last five years of his life. But he had reached desperately for Griffin, terrified he was going to leave. Raef rolled over to face the sleeping half-orc, watching him silently for a moment before he drew closer as if hugging Griffin. He fastened the lock of the necklace before he turned away from Griffin once more. Maybe now he could get some sleep. Izzy: at 10:37 PM END Category:Text Roleplay